The family bed, also called co-sleeping, is an extremely common practice where babies and young kids sleep with one or both of their parents. Approximately one-third of American families frequently sleep together during all or part of the night. Throughout most of the world, co-sleeping is a way of life; it is the norm for 90 percent of the world’s population. There has been much research determining that it is normal and healthy.

Many experts aren’t so open-minded on this issue. In fact, according to some physicians, co-sleeping will foster an unhealthy dependence, harmed marriages and increased the probability of sleep disorders. Other doctors deliver the opposite message, saying that co-sleeping makes a baby or child feel loved, secure, and comfortable.

It is important for parents to decide for themselves whether sharing their bed is something that suits their lives and they are comfortable with. While some parents wouldn’t dream of letting their babies and young kids sleep with them, others couldn’t imagine letting their young ones cry out and fall asleep alone. The family bed isn’t for everyone, but it is a viable option.

If you are on the positive side of sharing your bed with your kids, you will have to plan for the time that your child will inevitably have to learn to sleep alone. A good rule of thumb is when anyone in the shared bed is uncomfortable or is having their own sleep compromised, it’s time for your child to sleep on his own.

After co-sleeping with their parents for a period of time, many kids decide on their own that it’s time to sleep in their own beds. But often, kids find it hard to fall asleep alone after being used to being next to their parents in bed. The same is true for kids who have received assistance in the form of back rubs or storytelling, etc.

This is not an incurable problem, but parents should realize that kids will need a considerable amount of time to get used to this adjustment of being alone in bed. They gradually and systematically must reduce their nighttime attention while their kids are taught to relax by themselves and go to sleep.

Unfortunately, most sleep experts don’t seem to realize that many parents are looking for advice after having shared their bed or assisted their child to fall asleep for months or even years. Parents are often routinely advised to abruptly withdraw their attention at bedtime with no mention of teaching children self-relaxing tools. This sets the scene for bedtime battles and leaves parents feeling frustrated and defeated.

When you decide that the first time is right and you want to give the transition a try, you can make it a positive time for your child and yourself. You teach your kids many things, not the least of which is to become an independent sleeper who will proudly be able to say, “I can go to sleep by myself”. Once your child is able to fall asleep alone, he will much less likely to get up in the night. If he does happen to awaken at night for a drink or a bathroom visit, he will be more likely to fall back to sleep on his own.

The most important tactic to getting your child to sleep in his own bed is a firm routine and lots of patience and encouragement. A reward system for falling asleep alone and for making it through the night is good idea. Purchasing a special stuffed animal or blanket to snuggle up with are things that will make your child more confident and feel more secure while putting themselves to sleep.

For some families this transition will be easy, and for others, quite a challenge. Make it a positive experience by showing lots of love, patience, and reassuring your child that no matter what, if he is afraid or really needs you, that you will be there.

Kat Hafen writes for many baby publications including HugaMonkey, which has baby slings, changing pads, baby carriers, and much more. Visit HugaMonkey to find the perfect item to help with your baby!

[tags]sleeping with baby, baby sleeping in your bed, co-sleeping,[/tags]