Johann Sebastian Bach who was without a doubt a remarkable composer, probably the best ever, once said this: “the aim and final end of all music should be none other than the glory of God and the refreshment of the soul. If heed is not paid to this, it is not true music but a diabolical bawling and twanging.”

I think it would be pushing it a might if we made that a blanket statement of all music. However, the second part of Bach’s declaration that music should refresh the soul, well I can buy into that.

Music is incomparable among the arts in its power to purify, enhance and concentrate the senses. At the same time, the “diabolical bawling and twanging” so often passed off as music in our day has an equal power to degrade, sexualize and desensitize.

Today’s parents more than any other time need to be aware of this. Because music continues to be the spark for the fiery debate on whether it is the sole reason for the violence, suicides, sexual behavior and drug abuse the youth of this generation continue to exhibit.

Moms and dads cannot become annoyed at the muddle of sound blaring from their teenagers bedroom and walk away in a direction that will ease the excruciating throbbing in their heads any longer, they have to become involved and have an understanding of the music their kids are listening to.

It would be foolish to think that music is the all-inclusive reason in a teenagers life that forces their decision to act out. However, what a young person listens to could be a contributing factor to their behavior if they do not have a healthy sense of themselves.

In other words, if the lyrical message is the kids only perspective and there is no mentoring adults point of view to contradict the meaning. Then it is at this juncture a teenager who is hell bent on killing themselves, committing a violent act or slamming a syringe into their arm, might interpret the message as an endorsement to solidify their belief that what they are about to do, is in their best interest.

For instance, on May 4, 2000 a student from Columbine High School hanged himself in the garage of his family’s home. The teenager had fallen into a depression after watching one of his best friends murdered during the now-infamous Klebold-Harris debacle.

Greg Barnes placed the CD “Enema of the State” by Blink 182 on his CD player. The album contained the tune “Adams Song” and according to which way a person deciphered the lyrics could have been about suicide.

Adam set the song to play indefinitely while he prepared himself to die. The already depressed teen listen repeatedly to the song, which contained the lyrics: “I’m too depressed to go on, you’ll be sorry when I’m gone,” and “I never thought I’d die alone.” Discovering Greg some time later, the song was still playing on a repeat loop on the CD player.

Was the song the sole contributing factor to Gregs Death? No. However, at that precise moment in his life, one could make a strong argument the song had an influence on his decision.

Understanding music is critical to parents. They need to appreciate the fact that a song sends a message whether good, bad or indifferent and Realize the singer is a virtuoso in broadcasting messages through their lyrics and conveying a report about their beliefs.

It could be as detrimental as their positive feelings towards drugs, alcohol or violence or as innocent as a silly little love song. However, whatever their agenda there is no doubt they are trying to convince the listener through the hooks and verses of the song that it is all right to indulge.

In addition, music has enormous power behind it, life-altering power. Countless of stories have been written regarding the inspiration music has provided to an individual allowing them to muster the courage and strength to accomplish something positive in their lives.

However, for every positive, there has to be a negative, and it only makes sense that if music can arouse the best in a person it can also inflame the worst.

Music is also addictive. A study of music in 2008 by Dr. Primack of the University of Minnesota revealed that kids listen on average to 2.5 hours of music per day. That equals to 17.5 hours per week, 70 hours per month and 840 hours per year.

Compare that to the 20 minutes a day they converse with their parents and it is not hard to determine the influential factor.

Finally, music is subjective in nature. Unable to feel it, touch it or put your arms around it causes a multitude of problems when trying to obtain data and statistics regarding its connection to a persons negative conduct.

Behavioral experts cannot determine with any degree of accuracy whether the particular type of music an individual listens to is the cause that allows them to act out in violence, take drugs or commit suicide. Unless the person acknowledges the message in a song caused a particular behavior, a correlation is unlikely.

So, where does that leave parents? It brings them right back to that bedroom door. However, this time instead of covering their ears and walking away they need to interject their advice and opinions regarding what the song is conveying safeguarding their children from the dangers that may be lurking.

Rick Labell is a keynote speaker and author. He has taken his professional experiences of a 25-year law enforcement career and his own personal story of a violent alcoholic family to educate students about staying safe. You can contact him at: http://www.labellpresentations.com

[tags]music,message,teenagers, parents,influence,addictive,power[/tags]

“If we are to raise happy, healthy well adjusted children, then we as parents must lead happy, healthy, well adjusted lives.” Years ago, I authored that saying and certainly, the message lends itself to the fundamentals of parenting, that if we are to raise our kids correctly then we have to demonstrate acceptable behavior ourselves. Simply put, we must lead our brood by positive example.

Our children have the right to a solid foundation from which to springboard into adulthood. It is our responsibility as parents and society for that matter to guide them and demonstrate the behaviors that are acceptable in raising them properly. Sadly, some parents just do not comprehend that concept and continue to exhibit their own poor conduct.

They continue to believe that if their kids are not listening to what they are saying then certainly they must not be watching what they are doing either; nothing could be further from the truth. Frankly, if you lack the self-control to set the tone then you are enabling your children to self-destruct.

For example, do you really think you are being a good role model when on a Saturday morning while driving your daughter to soccer practice you begin a conversation about smoking? You explain to her the health issues it can lead to especially lung cancer. You make clear how expensive smoking is, you describe the smelly after effects, the addictiveness of nicotine and you spell out the bazillion other problems the habit can cause as you yourself light up the last of twenty in a pack of Marlboro’s.

Are you really being a positive influence in your childs life when after chugging down a 12 pack during a Sunday afternoon of watching football you decide this would be a great teaching moment for little Johnny. Therefore, with slurred speech, bloodshot eyes and the smell of stale beer pouring from your breath you mention to him that alcohol is acceptable under two conditions. One you must be of legal age to drink and two, you must drink responsibly.

However, during half time, pie eyed and half in the bag, you find you have depleted your supply of Bud Light. So as Johnny watches, you stagger out to the car climb behind the wheel and weave your way to the corner store to purchase another rack?

Professionally speaking I have thousands of examples regarding parents demonstrating poor leadership skills however; this one sticks out in my mind.

A few years ago, a young man injected his girlfriend with an overdose of heroin and was convicted for her death. After a lengthy trail, the jury returned with a guilty verdict and sentenced him to 10 years to life at the New Hampshire State Prison.

Unbelievably, while on a visit his mother attempted to smuggle marijuana into the prison for him and she herself was arrested.

Thinking back to the time I was a police officer in Newton, New Hampshire I dealt with this individuals mother on numerous occasions so it was not surprising that the poor choices she was making at the time would come back to haunt her.

Predictably, her lack of discretion manifested itself into poor parenting skills enabling her own son to travel the same path leading to his own self-destruction through drugs and alcohol, which inevitably lead to his incarceration.

Decades of research regarding at-risk children and poor parenting has proven that parents who enable their children and fail to lead by positive example are products of the same environment they place their own children, it is a hapless cycle to which there are no easy solutions. However, in order to fix the kid, you have to fix the parent(s) here are a few suggestions.

1) Take a parenting class. Your local high schools and colleges always offer parenting classes at reduced costs they cover the basics but give you insight, suggestions and resources to help you deal with problems, especially teen issues.

2. Plug in. Plug yourself in to the things that will build you own self-esteem and confidence. Read positive books, listen to self-help tapes and positive music and surround yourself with you own positive peer group.

3. Follow the positive successful example of others. Join the PTA or other groups and become involved with parents who are successful in raising their children, from them you will learn what works and what does not.

Taking the first step to breaking the bad habits that can lead to poor parenting skills can be difficult. Nevertheless, if you want to lead your kids to a better life you have to make sacrifices because it is not about you it is about them.

So begin right now and show your children you are willing to show them the way. Throw away your Marlboros, place the beer on ice for another time, allow your children to accept the consequences of their actions and whatever you do, do not attempt to smuggle pot into a State prison it is really not the happy, healthy, well-adjusted thing to do.

Rick Labell is a keynote speaker and author. He has taken his professional experiences of a 25-year law enforcement career and his own personal story of a violent alcoholic family to educate students about staying safe. You can contact him at: http://www.labellpresentations.com

[tags]leadership, positive parenting, positive example, leading teens[/tags]

You are sixteen years old and up to this point your life has been a living nightmare. All through middle school and into the waning days of your miserable existence as a sophomore in high school you felt different from most other kids.

You know the kids I am talking about, the one whose parents always showed up at the school functions, met with their teachers and were always involved, the moms and dads who held good paying jobs and were involved in their teenagers lives.

You noticed the difference because it was like night and day. They were living in a single-family home on a beautiful tree lined side street in suburbia wherever. You, well you survived in that triple decker second floor five-room apartment on the avenues in the inner city.

They looked forward to their father walking through the front door at five o’clock each day. You haven’t seen nor heard from your dad since the divorce, what has it been ten years now?

They have two brand new cars sitting in the driveway; one is black the other white. You also have a black and white sitting in your driveway, only it has the reflective words “Police” glowing all over it.

The other family sits down at night and has supper together at the kitchen table it is a ritual. You sit in the living room recliner in front of the television eating a bologna sandwich, ditto.

They make high honors at school; you just received your second five-day suspension in less than a month.

Society has several names for you they call you an at-risk kid, a troublemaker that kid across the street. However, understand that although you may be from a different side of the tracks than some others, deep down inside you have the capabilities of accomplishing great things.

Nevertheless, to get there you have to change your way of thinking which is necessary in producing better results and that preferable outcome begins with making choices that are more suitable.

By making positive choices it will allow your self-esteem to build, this in-turn will develop a positive attitude.

A positive attitude will create passion and passion is the fuel that we place in our tanks that drives our enthusiasm.

Our enthusiasm helps us build a belief base, which allows believing there is absolutely, positively nothing we cannot accomplish.

How do I know all this? Well, I was you 36 years ago. I was that kid across the street on 7th Avenue in Haverhill, Massachusetts and my life was burning out of control faster than a wind driven wild fire in the hills of California.

When it became apparent my teenage life was going up in flames, and that I was traveling towards a head-on collision with Haverhills finest, I made the choice to alter my direction and take control of my life. I made modifications, tweaked a few things, adjusted my mindset and promised myself the following:

1. I promised that starting immediately I would give 100% effort to my schoolwork because I realized education was the key to my success. However, I did not realize this until I had already dropped out of high school. At age 23, I went back to school and received my GED. I then went on to college earning a BA in Criminal Justice.

2. I promised not to look back and dwell on the past. It was over, water under the bridge and a waste of time and energy, I squandered precious time being angry at my situation. Especially at my dad who chose not to be in my life, so I made my own choice. I chose not to possess the “Whoa is me” attitude regarding the past and I took the position it was my dads loss not mine.

3. I promised to accept the things I could not change and that I had no control over. I could not change my childhood. However, I did have control of the present so I began to focus on that in order to make my future brighter.

4. I promised to work extremely hard and do whatever it took no matter how difficult it seemed in order to “move the ball forward” everyday and better me, my circumstances and my life. I plugged into a positive mindset reading positive books, listening to positive music and following successful peoples examples. I tried to do something everyday to improve my situation no matter how small it was allowing me to keep moving in a forward direction.

5. I promised to absolutely, positively refrain from the use of any illegal drugs or alcohol and I removed myself from situations where those life-destroying substances were present. No matter how bad it became, I never gave in to substance abuse.

The five promises I made to myself worked. They were the guidelines I followed that allowed me to crawl out from under the unmistakable disadvantage my parents placed me.

Now, here you go, I am passing them on to you. Look them over and make your own adjustments but please make the choice to give them a chance allowing you to take that first step towards your own success.

If all five seem overwhelming and you cannot handle them all at once, then pick one, incorporate it into your life and work it at your own pace.

By doing so, you will be making that positive adjustment, a great choice. You will be choosing right now this very second to allow your life to rock.

You will begin to write the lyrics to your life’s song and it is going to be a number one hit with slamming power chords and a hook so exciting that it catapults you to the number one spot on billboards chart topper of life.

Choose to believe you can do it, choose to understand it will not be easy and now choose to go after it. You are not unlike those other kids; your circumstances were just different.

Rick Labell is a keynote speaker and author. He has taken his professional experiences of a 25-year law enforcement career and his own personal story of a violent alcoholic family to educate students about staying safe. You can contact him at: http://www.labellpresentations.com

[tags]At-Risk,teenagers,drugs,alcohol,positive choices,attitude,parenting,[/tags]

What? Do you mean there is such a thing? Most people find it hard to believe that you can live peacefully with any teenager, even the good ones. Well, there are ways it can be done, but it does require effort on both parts. The parent and the teen must be willing to work together to maintain a good relationship without alienating one another. It is easy enough to say that you are the parent and it is going to be your way or no way, but parents that use that old stand by analogy find that it rarely works and often creates more problems than there has to be.

When teenagers are in the midst of this precarious state, they are growing up and are trying hard to make the transition from child to adult. Some parents are less accommodating during this time than others. Some parents can be much to strict with a teenager because they are afraid for them. They are afraid that they are going to make the wrong choices, hang out with the wrong people, be influenced by the wrong things, and this is a perfectly natural reaction. The only problem is that your concern can often interfere with the growing up process. We have to learn to give our trust to out teens until they give us a reason not to.

A good example of extending trust to them before you are distrustful is this. Sometimes a parent will be over curious when a teen begins to spend too much time alone in their room when they are at home. Most teens do this and it is simple enough, this is their way of detaching themselves from you and learning to have their own privacy. Usually they are doing absolutely nothing horrendous, it is just them taking the first steps of moving out without leaving the home. It can be tempting for a parent to snoop into closets or drawers when the teen is not at home just so they can satisfy their curiosity that nothing bad is going on. This can be a bad mistake because you are showing them that you already distrust them before they have even given you a reason to. No one is saying that if you are noticing warning signs that you should ignore them. If your teen is coming home in a strange state of mind with red eyes or alcohol on their breath, only a parent with their head in the sand would not find out what is going on.

Even though you sometimes might have to make compromises to stay in a good relationship with your teen, make sure it is within reason and you are not giving into things that you really do not think you should. If you say be home by eleven and your teen wants to stay out until two in the morning, you know this is unreasonable. No teenager has any business out at two in the morning. You might make it twelve and feel you have adequately compromised and you would be right. Even though you want things to be in good standing between you, you also have to remember that are the parent and that you can loosen the reigns somewhat to give them space, just be sure you are not letting them go all together.

Aydan Corkern is a writer an you can visit his sites for more information:
how to get your ex back and garden supplies.

[tags]peace,harmony,teenagers,parents,trust,growing up,transition,curiosity,bad mistake[/tags]

Dating is something that comes with almost every teenager at one point or another. It can be really hard for the parents to see their child suddenly growing into a person that is attracted to someone else, hopefully their own age, as something besides a playmate. These days homosexuality can often come into play as well and some parents are just not prepared for this. Parents that are heterosexual can not always understand or will not even try to understand this issue with a young person. Everyone has their own opinions about the morality of homosexuality and, of course, everyone has a right to their opinion. If you have a teenager these days, do not be so surprised if someone they want to date is of the same sex.

Dealing with a homosexual child, a bisexual child, or a heterosexual child could all come with challenges. It might not be of importance to you as a parent whether the one they are going to date is male or female so much as what the person is like. No parent wants to see their child become involved in a relationship with another person that you do not think is good for them. It could be because the teen they want to date has no life goals such as staying in school. They might have a reputation as being too wild and have a reputation for doing drugs or drinking alcohol. These are the dating issues that any good parent is going to be on the look out for. Physical abuse is even a factor in many teen relationships these days.

It can be a difficult situation to be in when you teen chooses someone that you believe, with good reason, to be totally unsuitable for your them. This is when you will hopefully have a relationship with your teenager that is good enough to withstand a little difference of opinion. You must let them know that you are concerned and do not necessarily approve of who they have chosen. It might be that you ask them to only see the person when you are present, but this will not go over very well with most teens. It might be that in order to stay in good standing with your teen for the moment that you allow them to go out with the person once or twice to see how it goes, but you must use your own judgment by what what you already know about the person.

This might go against your grain and if you have hard evidence that the person they wish to date is doing drugs or drinking alcohol, you might just have to make this the time when you are forced to be the bad guy whether you like it or not. Teenagers are not always known for making the best choices for themselves and as their parent it is your responsibility to protect them whenever you can even if it is from themselves. Likely the whole thing will blow over and perhaps they will soon find someone else to date as most teenagers do, but if it develops into a real issue for you, then you might need to seek some outside help before the problems gets too out of control. Just remember that raising teenagers is not always easy by any means, so never be ashamed to seek help because you do not want anyone else thinking you can not raise your child on your own.

Aydan Corkern is a writer an you can visit his sites for more information:
how to get your ex back and garden supplies.

[tags]intervene,teenagers,love relationship,parents,homosexual,bisexual,heterosexual,dating issues,drugs[/tags]

Very often people wonder how they can help an eating disorder person to get better. What they can do at home that can be useful for the sufferer’s recovery?

My answer always is “First of all, help them to built their self-esteem up and trust in others. Trust will make them love themselves and respect others.”

Also, family members often want to know if there was anything they have done in the past that could contribute to the development of an eating disorder in their loved one. They often say that they have never abused the sufferer not physically nor emotionally and they can’t understand why their loved one has an eating disorder.

But the child emotional trauma is not always obvious to adults. The child emotional problems in the family could be due to:

- Poor communication between parents and a child: this is one of the primary problems from which many other issues come also. Poor communication with a child can manifest itself in several damaging ways.

When a child has issues with something that the parents do or say, that child may seek refuge inside themselves rather than talking to the parents.

In holding back their feelings, emotions and thoughts, existing issues can often seem exaggerated and insurmountable. Because a child can’t find refuge in their parent’s arms, the child can start using other available things to moderate their emotions - like food for example.

- Failing to listen what child is saying: A damaging side effect of poor communication is a tendency to not hear what the child is saying or showing with her/his behaviour. Children with low self-esteem may be distracted by the internal conversation they are having within. To notice the subtle hints displayed by the child is the responsibility of the parents.

The parents may grow weary of resolving issues by listening because they fail to understand what their child is going through. This breakdown in the communication process can create a wedge between the parents and a child.

- Arguments about Trivial Things: When children suffer from low self-esteem, these children may try to camouflage major issues which is really bothering them, and discuss less-important or trivial problems. Children delude themselves that the parents will understand what really is bothering them.

The problem is that children are typically unable to infer the real issue because it has not been clearly communicated. As both parties (children and parents) become frustrated, they often begin arguing about matters that have little to do with the real issues.

For instance, the big argument about cleaning up a bedroom could be a result of parents not understanding that the mess in the bedroom is result of the child rebelling against something.

- Lack Of Intimacy: A family in which children have low self-esteem typically lacks strong intimacy. This could be due to a couple of reasons. First, children with poor self-esteem may simply feel inadequate (due to their own perception or a perception encouraged by parents).

Second, older children may not feel worthy to have an intimate experience with anyone.
By intimate experience I mean being closely connected spiritually to someone.

It is a simple fact that in families where warm relationships are encouraged by parents the children grow up much better adjusted people then in families with cold parental attitudes. Psychological problems and disorders in families with warm parental attitudes are less compare to families with cold parental attitudes.

- Growing Resentment: When a child’s self-esteem is damaged, she/he can begin to internalise and personalise issues. Over time, resentment builds for the parents and other people as well. This is largely due to not being comfortable in communicating their issues.

When children and parents stop talking to each other and one of the family members begins personalising problems, both children and parents can often develop a lingering resentment against each other.

To conclude, self-esteem is a key factor in the success or failure of a family and its members.
When one family member has low self-esteem, communication and intimacy suffer, leading to growing resentment between child and parents. This kind of resentment could be one of the reasons why children develop eating disorders.

So, building up self-esteem is still the first major step that families must undertake in order to help their loved one recover from their eating disorder.

Dr Irina Webster MD is the Director of Eating Disorder Institute. She is an author of many books and a public speaker. To learn more about eating disorder treatment go to http://www.eatingdisorder-institute.com

[tags]eating disorder, eating disorders, eating disorders and self-esteem[/tags]

Usually a couple that marries will decide when it is time to have children and they look forward to the arrivals of their babies so much. Of course, there are also plenty of times when people are not married and an unplanned pregnancy comes along and changes your life when it was not exactly what you had in mind. Sometimes people adopt a baby or a child when they can not have any of their own. Then there are blended families when the person you choose to be your mate has children that are brought into the relationship in the very beginning. Either way, these children are in your life, you are the parent or stepparent, and they are going to start growing up and will eventually become the dreaded teenager.

The word teenager can strike fear into the minds of a parent because it is well known that problems can up that will difficult and confusing to deal with. Most normal parents want desperately to have a good relationship with their teenagers, but it can be hard to allow them to grow up because you have a protective fear for them. Usually, parents learn how to let go a little at a time and when they are lucky they can trust their teen to be responsible and do the right things. That is not nearly always the case because sometimes the last thing a teenager wants to be is responsible. They want to grow up too quickly and be able to their own thing whether you approve or not.

Some teens are more rebellious than others. When you have one that has a tendency to get in trouble and be untrustworthy, it can make your life a nightmare. They might shrug off any curfew you give them and you could end up being that parent sitting up in the chair late at night wondering where they are and if you should call the police or go out looking for them yourself. Then there are other parents that will allow this kind of behavior because they are so afraid of making their teen mad at them, they will give them free reign to do whatever they like because they want to be their friend as well as the parent.

It is a fine line that parents have to walk between being the parent or being a friend and sometimes you just can not be both. If you can have a good relationship with your teenager and be a friend to them as well as their parent, that is great, but it can be hard to do this. When it comes right down to it and you are forced to make the choice, you have to be the parent first and the friend second. When you know they are making choices that can cause real problems in their life, now or later on, you have to step up and be the bad guy as distasteful as it might be for you. They might hate you for the moment, but that is better than allowing them to make mistakes that can affect the rest of their life.

Aydan Corkern is a writer an you can visit his sites for more information:
how to get your ex back and how to get your ex back.

[tags]parent,teenager,unplanned pregnancy,stepparent,rebellious[/tags]

If you are like most parents, you have probably always done anything you can for your children ever since they were born. You want them to know from the beginning that they can come to you with any problem any time and that you will do what ever you can. As they grow older and become teenagers, they might have come to depend on you for too much and possibly even take you for granted. Some teens know they have good parents and they will use this to their advantage as much as possible. At some point in the life of a teenager, you have to learn to make them step up and learn to take responsibility for their own life.

When a child has had a mother, father, or both that has never made a child be responsible for anything, even cleaning their own room, this can turn into a problem by the time they hit twelve or thirteen. When a kid is this age, they need to have some chores because this teaches them that you can not do everything for them and they have a responsibility to take part in keeping their household running if they want to live there. Continuing to always pick up after them instead of making them do it their selves, might make them think that they are staying in a hotel with a full line of service just for them to use.

Before a teenager starts driving themselves, they might assume that you are their personal chauffeur. This is especially true if your teen already has an active social life. They might want to be involved in so many activities that you can not keep up with them. This can be a good thing if it keeps your teen out of trouble and you want them to have a lot of friends, but not if it is going to run you ragged. When it gets to the point that you can not even plan any activities of your own because you feel like your on driving duty 24/7 for your teenager, it might be time to set some ground rules until they start driving themselves and there will need to be some restrictions in place even after they do start driving on their own.

One problem that many parents run into with teens is disrespect. When they do not get what they want, many times they will get a really smart mouth. Sometimes there does not even have to be an issue at hand for them to spout off at you. They are trying their adult feeling wings of course, you just have to let them know that there is a line that they should not think they are old enough to cross. When they start telling you no and even worse, shut up, it is past time to let them know that this kind of behavior will not be tolerated. Often teens do this because they believe you will not or can not do anything about it. Never let your child bully you and take your control. This is one sure way to end up with an adult child that will continue to try and walk all over you even later in life. You want a good relationship with your teen, but you do not want to be their doormat either.

Aydan Corkern is a writer an you can visit his sites for more information:
how to get your ex back and how to get your ex back.

[tags]teenager,parent,responsibility,chores,driving,chauffer,disrespect[/tags]

Kids love to romp around on the playground, but as they grow into their teenage years and their schedules get busier, lots of kids start spending more time with their computer screen or video game console than with their scooters or bicycles.

But teenagers can particularly benefit from the boost in energy and self-esteem that comes with staying physically active. Here are five tips for helping your kids stay active during their teenage years.

1. Keep it low-pressure. You and your teenager have probably heard the experts say that teens need physical exercise each day, but it might be more appealing to your child if you don’t make exercise sound like just another thing they need to jam into their already crazy schedules.

Talk to them about how exercise is about releasing some of their energy and stress.

Talk to them about how it’s something their body needs to do, and encourage them to get out in nature to exercise as much as possible.

There is something so naturally restorative about getting your body moving each day in nature. My children were saying just today how our daily half-hour hike helps them to feel peaceful all day because, whenever they get tense, they can remember the peace that resides in the forest.

2. Give your teenager lots of options. If your teenager doesn’t like to run or jog or bike, suggest she take a walk with a friend instead. And stay alert to your teenager expressing interest in a new kind of physical activity, whether it’s gymnastics, skateboarding, dancing, ice skating, swimming, basketball, soccer, football or skiing.

You can also get some free weights for your home. Make sure that whatever you set up is a low-pressure environment. Competitive sports can be a great way to stay in shape, but it’s not the only way.

3. If your teens express some resistance to going out on a walk or a bike ride, remind them that everyone has resistance sometimes to getting outside and getting active. Share with them when you feel resistance. Once your teenager has been out moving for 10 minutes, ask him again how he feels.

4. Sign up for a fun run or a walk for charity. This is a great activity for the family to engage in together.

5. Make sure that you are exercising every day, too. When your teenagers see you weaving physical activity into your daily life, they will be more apt to follow suit. Then you’ll both benefit.

Physical activity can help your teenager develop a healthy self-esteem and body image while reducing their stress and helping them to sleep better and maintain focus at school. Just remember to give them lots of options and to keep the pressure to a minimum.

Jamie Jefferson writes for Susies-Coupons.com. Visit today to find discounts on jeans as well as skate and surf clothing.

[tags]teen fitness, physically active teens[/tags]

Youth violence is a growing concern of our society. The question that has most often been asked is whether it is caused by nature (genes) or nurture (environment).

While many studies point to youth violence as a nurturing issue, new research points to heredity as a genetic component that cannot be entirely taken out of the picture.

Gangs have traditionally been regarded as a sociological phenomenon. Poverty, lack of education and poor parenting skills have all played a role in developing gang culture. However, a new study completed at Florida State University shows that boys who carry the “warrior gene” are more likely to join gangs, use weapons and be among the most violent members.

Boys with this gene show high levels of aggression in response to provocation.This violent variant, also called the MAOA gene, affects levels of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin associated with mood and behavior. Variants associated with violence are hereditary, remnants of a warrior gene prevalent in cultures that are marked by aggression and warfare.

According to the study, this variant is most prominent in boys because it is located in the X chromosome. Since girls carry 2 X chromosomes, and boys carry only one, the violent gene in girls is counteracted by the effect of the second chromosome. Because boys are limited to one copy of this gene, they have no compensating factor to mute the effect of genetic expression. That’s why the MAOA effect has been mainly detected in males.

Can nurture alter the dynamics of genetic disposition?

Absolutely. Studies have shown that genetic disposition can be moderated or changed by environmental factors such as family, friends, church and school. Gang Guo, a sociologist at the Caroline Center for Genomic Studies at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, studied the effect of environmental influences on boys genetically predisposed to violence. He and his team discovered that simple lifestyle influences such as having a daily meal with both parents had a leveling effect on the gene.

Other studies show that being involved in Church and community protected boys from violence and crime. Strong social bonds at home, school, church and community have a profound influence on the expression of the risky gene.

We must really take to heart what Bruce Lipton says in his book, “The Biology of Belief”:Genes are not destiny!” We have the power to override the genetic blueprint through thought, belief, intentions and behavior. According to Lipton, parents are genetic engineers who can nurture what they bring into this world with love and responsibility.

Bianca Tora is a writer interested in the relationship between lifestyle and the brain, specifically the area of emotional regulation and control. She has written a book on anger management for children. Visit her help-your-child-with-anger

[tags]youth violence, warrior gene, chromosome X, MAOA gene, Bruce Lipton, The biology of Belief[/tags]